The Need To Feel Real

All went quiet for a while and I’m here to tell you why.

The internet is a beautiful place full of versatility and opportunities that entices most human beings for one reason or another. Most of us browse, some of us aim to make something of ourselves here and unfortunately the majority get lost in this big world of perception. I feel I am not alone in this ongoing battle between the world of social media and real life and being a fashion blogger, or internet presence of any kind that requires you to look a certain way each day, only intensifies that invisible pressure. I have had my meltdown where I quit everything and disassociated myself with my online persona to ground my self and realign my ambitions with my values.

This all came about because I was being contacted by companies for collaborations, which is extremely exciting, but not a single one aligned with what I was exploring on my platforms. This led me to believe that I’m either; not portraying my values as a fashion blogger clearly enough or my work is only good enough to be a run of the mill social influencer that doesn’t truly believe in what I am meant to be selling. Both of these answers could’ve been true and that was enough to make me re-think my efforts. Then add in the pressure to be perfect 24/7, which took a mental toll on me, so I inevitably quit.

Over the past months I have felt no need to look a certain way and in fact it’s changed my outlook on things quite dramatically. I no longer wear make up on a daily basis, which was something I struggled to keep up with beforehand, and I’m much more focused on aspects of sustainable fashion that really interest me and I want to expand on. One thing that was the most motivating for me personally was coming to the realisation that sustainable and ethical fashion is all based around being real and having transparency and I don’t feel I was portraying that through my platforms. If I want to be part of the world that relies on people being fair, transparent and honest I have to be too. This breakdown between persona’s was always going to happen and I know I’m not the only one who has gone through it but I’d also say that my naivety towards the effects of social media was definitely the main contributor. All I can say is little and often is always the best way to go. I know I can’t be the type to quit it all together but I will certainly break the chain of infinite scrolling.